Dear Annie: I have had bad relationships with women I have met online in the past. Last year a young lady came and stayed with me from March to June and kept asking me for money. I ended up giving him $ 6,000 when all was said and done. After things were over with this woman, I started talking to another woman, who borrowed $ 4000 for medical bills. Currently I am talking to a few women – mainly this 30 year old woman who lives in the same condition as me. But whenever I ask her to meet in person, she always says she wishes she could do it but she’s busy this weekend. Then there is another one who is 27 who says she wants to be with me but has no money to get gasoline to come visit me.
What’s the best way to find someone to date? Do you know of any good dating sites where you really don’t have to pay a lot? Because I don’t want to spend a lot of money trying to find someone. I will be 50 years old a week from today. – All for love in Maine
Dear all for love: While age differences aren’t necessarily a deal breaker, it seems like you’re used to dating younger women who are looking for money. You have to break this mold. Date women who are closer to your age and, more importantly, who have an income of their own. You can find better solutions for you on a reputable dating site such as Match.com, which costs $ 15.99 to $ 18.99 per month. Spending some money up front to join a legitimate online dating community is better than using free websites and meeting people who are going to cheat you for thousands of dollars.
Whatever you do, please: donate any more money. If a woman asks you for money, see her for the red flag and move on.
Dear Annie: I started dating my husband 11 years ago, married six years ago. Our biggest problem is her 29 year old son. This man has never had a job because he has been a drug addict, including methamphetamine and heroin, and still uses them. In addition, he has arrest warrants for his arrest. I made it clear that he couldn’t live in our house and I don’t want him to come back if my husband isn’t home. I know his son hates me and the combination of hate and drugs doesn’t always end well. Needless to say he still slips in, then I pop my top off, and my husband kicks him off again. It’s a never-ending roller coaster. How do I get my husband to understand that I’m done with this? I would not let my adult daughters live in my house, jobless and sleep on my couch, I refuse to support a 33 year old man! – Tired of roller coasters
Dear tired: The addiction is indeed a roller coaster, but you don’t need to go around. Let your husband know – empathetically but firmly – that you are no longer comfortable with your stepson staying with you any longer. If he continues to let him into the house anyway, tell your husband that you will need to isolate yourself from the malfunction and make a plan to do so, by temporarily finding your accommodation, with a relative or friend. I encourage you to attend meetings of a support group like Nar-Anon or Anonymous Families, which might bring you some peace and, in turn, clarify the situation. And if you ever feel like you’re in danger, call 911. I’m sorry your family is struggling with this.
âAsk Me Anything: A Year of Advice from Dear Annieâ is now available! Annie Lane’s first book – with her favorite columns on love, friendship, family, and etiquette – is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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