DEAR ABBY: My niece is getting married this spring, which has created a dilemma for my immediate family. When the backup cards came out, she only sent them to the women in the family. We thought it was a mistake at first, but now the invitations have arrived, and they’re also for women only.
My husband and my son (his first cousin) feel offended. My son’s wife has been invited, but she doesn’t know the bride at all. It appears the bride has a limited number of guests she can invite to the venue. She also has a large number of friends and family of the groom.
Out of respect for my son and my husband – and a son-in-law who was also excluded – we will all respond that we will not participate. I feel bad that I can’t see my niece walking down the aisle, but I’m not used to my partner being ignored. Am I doing the right thing? – TROUBLE IN FLORIDA
DEAR LOST: Before you decline the wedding invitation, call your niece and ask if she is intentionally excluding men. Because women make most of the social arrangements, she may not have realized that EVERY guest’s name should appear on the invitation. Rather than an attempt to exclude family members because their chromosomes are not the same as hers, it may have simply been a booze of the label.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 35 years and have a recurring problem with no solution in sight. My wife puts frozen meat on the counter to thaw it. She says she can’t rely on thawing it in the fridge because it takes too long and interferes with her meal planning. Her mother always did this, and no one ever got sick. I try to talk to him but it only ends in a fight. Any suggestion would be appreciated. – RISK IN ILLINOIS
DEAR RISKY: The Food and Drug Administration issued guidelines on food preparation because people got VERY sick when it wasn’t done properly. In the last 10 to 15 years, conditions at some of our slaughterhouses and farms have deteriorated and consumers have died. If you can get your wife to change her ways, I can’t predict. But you might do her a favor if you visit fda.gov and print out some information for her and your mother-in-law. Better to be safe than sorry.
DEAR ABBY: My wife is participating in a Christmas cookie exchange with her sisters-in-law and mother. Three of them make beautiful and tasty cookies. The other’s cookies are not very good, so the others don’t put them on their trays. Instead, they happily accept them and then “give them away”.
I think someone should reach out to this woman and “kindly” suggest that she bake another type of cookie so that she doesn’t waste her time, energy, and money. I was told to stay out of this. Your thoughts? – COOKIE WASTE IN NEW YORK
DEAR COOKIE WASTE: Ideally, the woman might want to know that her cookie is not being liked much. In the real world, however, his feelings could be hurt. You have been outvoted. Right now everyone is happy. If the temptation to say something becomes overwhelming, put a “good” cookie in your mouth and keep it closed.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What adolescents need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and how to get along with their peers and parents can be found in “What Every Teenager Should Know”. Send your name and mailing address, along with a check or money order for $ 8 (US funds), to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling costs are included in the price.)